Where to start?

I feel like everytime someone asks me how things are going lately I have to answer with "Things are SO busy and crazy!!"

I drove home this past weekend so that I could visit my g-ma in the hospital, her status is pretty much the same- I do have to admit it was super hard to see her. I knew it wasn't going to be easy and had thought about it on my 3.5 hours in the car- trying to prepare myself but when I walked through the ICU doors and saw her I knew there was nothing I could have done to make this easier. Her eyes are open, she moves around quite a bit but just doesn't recognize us at this point. It was just so weird, it didnt even seem like it was my Grandma and the fact that she couldnt respond to me made me feel like I was talking to a stranger.

One thing about my Grandma is that she is a fighter and she is a survivor. She has had a difficult life since childhood and somehow finds the good in everything. I see that trate in my Mom- it's one of the things I love most about both of them. Even in the worst situations, when the people in her life have been selfish and not given her the respect she deserves she continues to love them unconditionally- never thinking of herself. She was a single mom at a very young age and somehow kept it all together with 3 kids! My favorite memories with her were our family Christmas eves at their old house- her Christmas tree was always decorated perfectly and had these lights that had colored water that made a bubbly sound inside it- I will always remember Santa coming to see us at her house and the fruit salad she makes!

Minutes before she was taken back for surgery she called me because she wanted to tell me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. This is my grandma, even when going into surgery she is thinking about everyone else and now she is in ICU, unable to respond. I can't even imagine what my Mom must be going through everyday, I was in Houston for a weekend and was so drained by the time I left. My Mom, Dad and Grandpa are there day in, day out visiting, talking and reading to my Grandma just hoping she will wake-up and recognize something. Your continued thoughts and prayers mean so much- I pray that she will fight again and come back to us soon.

A few happy things did happen while I was in Houston, my friend Michelle had her baby! Logan Thomas is PRECIOUS! I got to see her while she was still in the hospital because he came early so that was very exciting! We also threw my friend Rebekah's baby shower on Sunday afternoon and it was great to see her and the girls from home, I don't get to see them very often so it was fun! Rebekah looks great and the nursery is so cute, she is doing a safari/sports theme and everything is coming together nicely :) I was able to help set-up and decorate with the girls, it was alot of fun! I can't wait to meet baby Everett and was so glad to be apart of everything.

I also got together with Lindsee and Laura Saturday night and it was just what I needed after the difficult hospital visits. We had dinner and closed the place down! It made me miss our college days oh so much when we could hang out everyday! I am so glad to say that even though we aren't in college anymore and I am 4 hours away- nothing has changed! We laughed until we cried, covered all that is in our lives and the 5 hours we were together seemed like 30 minutes! Thank you for being there for me this weekend and for driving to see me :) I love you both!

I wanted to put something happy in the middle because what I am about to write about is something that has been so heavy on my heart that I honestly can't even believe has happened. Late Wednesday night, I got a call from one of my besties from college informing me that one of our sorority sisters was in jail for something that broke our hearts. This is not just someone I knew in college, this is someone that I had very many sleepovers, late nights and crazy times with- someone that I love very very much, someone that I consider to be a very good friend, someone that is part of who I am today. She is an amazing person with a great heart that could make me laugh like no other person on earth and has prayed with me and for me more than I can count. Although she has made a mistake that has turned her life upside down I know that God is in control. I don't know what the future holds for her but I do know that I love her and that she is my sister and my friend. I am so heart-broken for her but I know that the best thing I can do is just pray, pray, pray and be there for her- unconditionally, just like she has done for me so many times. I think it's easy in times like these to go mia because it's difficult. I'm not going to lie, it is clearly going to be hard seeing her, writing her and not having a sleepover for however long it ends up being but in the face of difficulty your friends are supposed to stand strong and hold you up when you can't do it alone anymore. I know this is going to be a different friendship then it was before but she is my friend- good times or bad. We all make choices, some are good and some are bad and right now my choice is to be the best friend that I can be. I ask that you pray for her and her family during this time, I can't imagine how they are feeling right now but my prayer for them is that they stand strong and support her.

Whew! I need a break after that long post! Thanks for reading and all of your thoughts and prayers! Life is a beautiful mess right now!