Sometimes not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world...

I am not normally a Tyra Banks fan, however I caught a re-run of America's Next Top Model and she said this phrase to a girl who was sent home...
"Sometimes not being in control is the most beautiful thing"
Tyra,I couldn't agree more! We get so caught up in trying to keep it all together, we want people to think we are confident, sucessful and independent. Don't get me wrong; confidence, sucess and indepence are all goals we should work towards but at the end of the day we are all a disaster! Maybe your job is falling apart or the lack of even having one has you down, maybe you are in a bad relationship or have not found the right person or maybe you feel that you are in over your head in the lifestyle you chose. Maybe you are nervous about what the future holds- whether it be graduation, moving a new start or just the unknown. The unknown is something that I struggle with everyday. I am quite the planner. I like to have timelines, calendars and spreadsheets of where my life is going. There is absolutely nothing wrong with planning. It is good to look to the future and to have goals... I believe the problems arise when we are not flexible in our plans changing to what God has in store. We need to just let it all go. Let go of the control, forget about trying to keep it all together because to be honest we are incapable of doing it on our own! We were never meant to be in charge. Stop the juggling act-life is not a circus! So is this control easy to hand over? Not at all even though it should be seeing that God is the only one who can get us through this crazy life. For whatever reason we let our weaknesses keep us from letting go. It's funny how God's plan works to strengthen these weaknesses if you let it. Sometimes these are hard lessons learned through pain but if strength is found in the end then give me pain! One thing we must keep in mind about giving over control is that it can not be given over in peices. God doesn't want to manage different departments of your life no, He wants to govern your whole life. Let's be honest, things always run better with one person charge. So, I hope you will embark on this journey with me and just let it all go because sometimes not being in control really is the most beautiful thing.

Lots of headaches, weird neurological tests and one MRI later...

The last few weeks have been pretty scary! As many of you know, I have been struggling migrains since I was 18 and when they hit I don't just have a headache! I become completely incoherent, my hands, feet and tongue go numb and my vision goes a little spot crazy! Anyway, about a month ago I ahd the absolute worst migraine of my life! It was my 5th one for the month and Ryan almost took me to the hospital because the pain was worse than anything I have ever experienced and it scared him. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, especially for headaches and when I have had migraine episodes before this one i just take my medicine and go to sleep and get on with my life- but no sir, there was no going to sleep with this one!

So, I called my doctor the next day while still having the headache to find out what I should do and she felt that I really should go to a hospital or see a neurologist. So, I made myself an appointment with a neurologist even though this scared me as seeing this type of doctor is definately a last resort!

Dr.Blaire has been SO great!! He ran a series of tests and ordered an MRI despite the fact I did not want one :( let me tell you- it was horrible! Quite possibly the worst thing I have ever had to deal with on a medical level! I definately got a headache from the test that I thought would never end and have never been so dizzy in my life!

Thankfully, I had my follow-up appointment today for the results and everything came back normal! I do have to start visiting the neurologist every 4 months so we can document the number of headaches I am getting and I am on 2 new medications but hopefully everything will get better! I had a ton of people praying for me so if you were one of them- thank you!! I definately needed it during this time!

Such a great weekend!!

Happy belated labor day everyone!
Ryan and I had such a relaxing weekend and it was much needed because things have been pretty stressful lately! My fabulous parents came up to visit and we had a blast! Everytime they visit we go to a steakhouse called Cattlemens, it is in the Fort Worth Stockyards which is my favorite part of Fort Worth- its an original old western town that actually still has rodeos and cattle drives. It's so Texas and we all know how much I love Texas! Anyway, we ate there and hung out in the stockyards, they have tons of shops and cowboys and indians walking around and then we got up early the next morning and went to the best breakfast spot in Fort Worth- McKinley's. It is this precious little bakery that also does breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was so yummy! We went to the Fort Worth Water Gardens and then hung out in downtown Fort Worth to do some shopping! My mom and I went a little shoe crazy in one boutique... I got three really cute pairs! My mom got some adoreable flats, we were pretty happy :) We hung out at our house for a while and they headed back to Houston. It was a quick trip but we had so much fun and were so glad they came up!
Ryan and I spent labor day night together just relaxing, we had dinner at my favorite mexican place and hung out at home. I have a few of the pics from our weekend below!

We are seriously starting to plan our anniverary trip now! We are still narrowing our spots down but it looks like its going to be New York. If any of you have any suggestions let me know!! Hope you all have a great week!

Please continue to pray for Ryan as he searches for a ministry job, he is getting more and more discouraged as time goes on! Also, I have an MRI on Monday, please pray that everything comes back normal- it is for my migrains that have become unbearable and more frequent lately. Thank you so much!