Change...

The Jasper Family!


Scout!!


I have always had a hard time with change.
I don't like when people move away, when it's time to move on or when one chapter of life closes. It's not the unknown that I hate but the feeling of loosing what I already have. Because of this I hold on tightly to my family and friends. In some ways this is a positive thing, in other ways it holds me back from new friendships simply because of the time I put into the ones I have. This is something that I have realized in the last year as I put a few relationships to rest and moved on. I have realized that there truly are different people who carry you through the seasons of life. Friendships change and grow and sometimes that growth is apart. This doesn't mean they aren't your friends, just maybe not what they were. This also doesn't mean that the closeness will never be again- just not right now. I am thankful for the friends who are still here and feel blessed for the time I have had with others who are no longer around. When life changes, people change with it and this isn't a bad thing. It is inevitable.

In the past 6 years change has been a huge factor in my life all starting with moving to Huntsville to attend Sam Houston State University. I can remember the excitement and terror that went through my heart during that time. I was scared about leaving my family, friends and just being on my own. Little did I know that I would finally discover my purpose and who I was during this amazing chapter. I met some of the most amazing, influential people during this time as well. I found a few friends for life, my husband and myself.

When college ended I was not happy. I had very hard time moving back home and readjusting to the life I had loved so much before. Everything was so different and yet the same. Thank goodness for my friends and family during that time! Ryan moved to Fort Worth and we became a long distance couple. This change was so hard. However we became stronger than ever during this time- it was obvious that we were meant to make it through this transition and after 10 months of this he proposed...

I was offered a position at the American Heart Association and after spending 6 years at TWFG I walked away knowing there was something else out there for me. This decision has been one that made me so nervous but has turned out to be so positive! I absolutely love what I do! I got to live with one of my best friends in the world for the transition to Fort Worth. Raven and I had a blast during our 6 months of being roomies. She helped me plan the wedding, keep my sanity and was there for me in a way no one else ever has.

Then the wedding came and my life changed more in 30 minutes then it had in 24 years! Marriage has been amazing. We moved across the street from Raven and were surrounded by our friends for our 1st year. I wouldn't take this time back for anything- we were feet away from some of the funniest, greatest people that we would have never met if it hadn't been for Carroll Park. Our house had no washer or dryer hook-ups or a dish washer. The bathroom was tiny and didnt have a counter, the kitchen had only 1 counter, a miniture stove and miniture fridge and barely fit our table and chairs. I loved that house. We spent the year laughing, having a blast and loving marriage. Yes, there were hard times but in the vast scheme of things our year was so easy!

Now recently we have moved not far but away from everyone into a much larger apartment in a great area of Fort Worth. I work from home for the American Heart Association and we recently welcomed a rescue dog into our life. Moving here has been fantastic but also an adjustment- I can't walk across the street to see my girls when I am bored and it has been a little lonely so far. I am not one who is bothered by being alone- I actually love doing things on my own but sometimes it gets hard with ryan working nights and it just being me every night but Sundays and Mondays. Scout (our dog) has been such a blessing and couldn't have come at a better time. I know we rescued him but I feel like he rescues me so much everyday. He is such a blast and loves us no matter what :) I have been struggling with lonliness alot since moving to Fort Worth, I know it's probably weird for a married girl with great friends to say that but I think alot of times when you get married your friends keep their distance somewhat. I think it is totally subconscious and I understand it- marriage changes things and it's easy to think a married person is never alone. It can also be lonely not to have friends who are going through the same things you are because they are single. Don't get me wrong- my single friends are by far some of the best I have! However, you always need others around you that can relate and we have been lacking this in Fort Worth. We have some really great friends from college and friends from back home that are married and are amazing. Sometimes though I just miss double dates and having someone to just hang-out with that understands! We do have a church but unfortunately with Ryan's work schedule it has been so difficult to join a small group or really do anything that is outside of Sunday mornings.

God provides though and I was reminded of this yesterday on Valentine's Day. Our apartment complex has a "Care Team" that just so happens to be a sweet couple that came by to welcome us. Mandy and Ben plan events at our apartment complex and basically create community. I just had to laugh when they left because it was like God was saying just wait for my timing, I haven't forgotten about you and I can handle this. Well of course you can God- just let me step aside :)

Change is funny, it creeps up on you and turns your life upside down. Sometimes it's welcomed and sometimes it's dreaded. I think the best thing about it is that it's out of my control and I just have to go with the flow. I have made it through 5 moves so far and each chapter has brought me to the next bigger and better thing.

I can't wait to see what changes are next!